Fruity kind of love….

Anyone who knows me, knows of my allergy to fruits. Not real, it’s a notional allergy. I don’t see a point in eating fruits. Not. A. Single. One.

No, I’m not proud about it.

Yes, I tried to change my dislike into liking.

No, nothing’s changed.

Yes, I still hate fruits.

1983

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I remember being told by my somber Arabic teacher.. if we do good deeds and are good children, we will go to heaven.

“And what will I find in heaven?”

“Oh lots of good things, rivers of milk and honey and the sweetest of fruits.”

“Huh.. I don’t want that. This is cheating. I want real food! What about biryani?!”

Needless to say, I was sensitized and informed of the manifold benefits of this edible quasi-food group.

2000

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I was convinced that love is blind when on the SECOND day of my wedding I discovered the Man I had promised my life and loyalty to was a fruitarian. He loved everything called ‘fruit’ as much as much as Popeye loved spinach. But I was not going to let his love of fruits come in the way of my marital bliss. So I did what was the most logical thing to do about his love of fruits. I ignored it.

Clearly craving, the poor man asked me after almost a month why I wasn’t including any fruits in my grocery shopping. As I had still not enlightened him of my duvidha, I responded with surprise. Oh! How had I missed it, will buy some the next day!

As part of my dedication to him, I left home with much purpose and determination to buy the fruit I was most comfortable with. The banana. Before you read on, please appreciate the fact that till that morning I had never bought a banana ever. In my whole life.

So I go to this thela, and put on my game-face. With my best I-buy-bananas-everyday-attitude I say. “6 kele pack kardo”. To which the distracted man asks “aaj khaenge ya kal?”.

The gall of the man! Why does he need to know if I want to eat it today or tomorrow? “Tumko kya karneka hai? I will eat whenever I want!”

As I gifted the raw bananas to my Man with bursting pride, he asked me “What is this? I cant eat it for two more days. Didn’t you tell him we want to eat it today?” That was his Love-is-blind moment.

2020

……..

You will be pleased to know I am eating fruits, just like I am eating my calcium tablets everyday. Fyi, it has nothing to do with having entered the freaky forties.

Given our history, bananas have a special status in our marital bliss.

The boys are fruit lovers, because their father is a smart man who doesn’t repeat a mistake. After realizing he had been blind in love, he focused on ensuring the disease did not pass from me to them.

The kele-wala-bhaiya is my best friend.